“Let me love you a little more before you’re not little anymore.”
I have been a mommy for a short 16 months and it has been the greatest 16 months of my life. Some people think that 16 months is a long time but I disagree. If you think about the actual length of 16 months, it does seem like a long time. But in all reality it’s not. It doesn’t seem possibly that my baby is now a toddler. That the midnight feedings that I “dreaded” are over. The times he would fall asleep in my arms are over. The bottle feedings, the carrying him everywhere are all over. He is now a toddler, running all around the house, learning right from wrong, trying to learn a new word almost daily. My baby has grown up. It doesn’t seem possible.
Instead of waking up every 2-4 hours a night are over and I can sleep all night. I no longer have to take time out of my day to feed him every 2-4 hours. I don’t have to change diapers near as often. Now my days are filled with an “older” kind of play, having conversations and teaching him things. Motherhood is bittersweet. At times, I would give anything to go back to him being my little baby. Where he would cuddle with me. When he learned to sit up, to crawl, to laugh and to smile. Then, at the same time, I love toddlerhood (yes I made that word up). I love watching him learn new things. New colors, new animals, new words. The park dates, chasing him around the house and conversations (even if they are still a little one-way).
Children grow up way too fast. It doesn’t seem possible that I’ve already been a mommy for 16 months. I may not have jumped up for joy when I woke up every 2 hours for a feeding or the countless cries that I had to try to soothe. But I love being a mom. I love my baby. He is growing up too fast but I’m loving every minute of it. But as he grows, there is a little pain in my heart. A pain that remembers when he was little. A pain that reminds me time doesn’t slow down or stop. A pain that makes me thankful for this little boy and the time we have together. I’m going to love on him until he won’t let me anymore because there will come a time when he won’t want to hold my hand or give me a kiss and I’m not ready for that. So, I’m going to love him a little more every day before he isn’t little anymore.