God tells us in 1 Corinthians that love always protects. When we hear the word protect, our mind goes straight to physical protections. Yes, love protects physically but it also needs to protect emotionally, after all, love is an emotion. The bible tells us that “two shall become one,” now that doesn’t mean you lose your identity, it means that you and your husband are connected at the core, the heart. Your struggles are his struggles, and his burdens are your burdens. For most traditional marriages, the husband is the bread-winner. He goes to work to support your family. He brings home money to pay bills. He works hard at work to make his boss pleased. He may not feel respected at work or he may not like his job. Your husband may come home completely exhausted, physically and emotionally. He may feel beaten down at work, he may look at your financial situation and wonder how you’re going to make next month’s mortgage payment. So let me ask you a very important question, are you your husband’s safe place?
Can your husband come to you with his burdens? Can he come to you when he feels like he is at the end of his rope? When his struggles are too much to bear alone? What about when his boss or co-workers show no ounce of respect for the amount of work he puts in? You need to be his safe place. Love always protects. It protects in the good times and it protects in the bad times. Your husband needs to know that when he walks through the door on what has been “one for the books” for hard days, that you will be there, with your arms open, his safety. He needs to know that when he walks through the door, that you won’t be there waiting with more struggles and more burdens. You are a team. “Two shall become one.” His burdens are your burdens, and your struggles are his struggles.
If you’re not your husbands safe place, let me ask you why? Why aren’t you the person in his life that he can turn to? Why don’t you let him know that you will share his burdens? Why isn’t your home or your marriage a safe place? If you want your marriage to succeed, your husband has to know that you are there for him. That you will work together to protect your marriage and to support your marriage. If you struggle with that, I ask you to say this prayer: Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Be his safe place, so he can be yours.