Today marks 4 years of marriage and 9 years of being together. It’s crazy to think that we have been together that long. A lot has happened over these years. There have been ups and downs (sometimes even mountains to climb). In these 4 years of marriage, we have bought a house and had a baby. In these 4 years, we have struggled and we have soared. Marriage isn’t easy, it takes a lot of work but what I’m going to share 4 things that I have learned over our 4 years of marriage that I think has really helped our marriage.
1. Make God the center of your marriage. Without God in the center of your marriage, you are doomed. With Him in charge, any fight, any bump in the road or a mountain in the way can be overcome. Whether you are struggling to make your marriage work, just starting out in marriage or have been married for 50 years, no marriage can really succeed happily if God isn’t in control. Pray together daily. Read the bible together, daily. Praise Him together.
2. Fall in love all over again, every day. Some days are hard. That’s life. It may seem like falling in love again isn’t something you want to consider or even think is possible. When you’re fighting, when you are completely angry, remember why you love him. Think about all the things he does for you throughout the day, whether you ask him to or not. Going to work. Doing the dishes. Putting your child to bed at night. Simple things, simple moments, can make you fall in love all over again if you’re looking.
3. Marry your best friend. Maybe this sounds a bit cliche, but it’s true. Before Nathan and I started dating, we were friends. We got to know each other and we had a good foundation first. Now, that’s now how every relationship starts and that’s okay. Even though you may not have started out as friends, doesn’t mean you can be your husband’s best friend or vice versa. If you take away all the marriage, peel back all the romance and just get to the person, do you actually even like them? Do you do things in life that the other person has an interest in even though you don’t? A best friend is someone you can talk to about anything, do anything (or nothing) with, cry with, spill your secrets with. Your husband, needs to be that person. I’m not saying you can’t have women friends, because you can, I do. I have a best girl friend, but your husband needs to be your best friend. He needs to be the one you talk to about anything and everything, he needs to be the one you can do anything with, to cry with and to share your secrets.
4. Date your spouse. We aren’t experts in this area, but I find that it’s very refreshing to date your spouse. With kids and now with the holidays, it can be hard to either find time or extra money to actually go on dates. But, it’s so important. Get away from the kids and get back to just the two of you. To remember why you love each other, to spend quality and quantity time together. Miss the kids together too (that happens in our family). It’s also beneficial to your family. Going away for a couple hours can help the two of you feel like a couple, like a united front and rock parenting.