Sorry this post is a day late, but I didn’t get around to writing it Tuesday night. The last topics of our Bible study were very enlightening.They were short chapters, but things that as wives, we don’t really think about.
1. Our husbands want to be romantic. That was a surprise to me. Husbands always seem to not be very romantic, except for in the movies. Through reading this chapter, talking with my husband and the three other husbands in the room, they do want to be romantic, but they don’t know how to be romantic. This is where we come in. Every woman is different. We all want romance in different ways, so how are our husbands supposed to know what we think is romantic? Communication. Tell them exactly what we find to be romantic. Don’t hint at it, be blunt. They need us to be blunt in this area because hints and being subtle will go right over their heads and you will never be romanced.
2. According to the book, our husbands are supposed to care about how we look. They want us to look cute, to always look put together and beautiful. However, 4 out of 4 husbands that are in our life group completely and totally disagree. They actually love it when we wear less make-up. When we don’t always have to shower or look cute. They like our casual, sweatpants look. Maybe not everyday all day, but they love us for who we are. One husband mentioned that the only time he would ever care is if his wife’s outward appearance was reflecting what was happening on the inside. He cares more about her emotional well-being than the type of clothes she wears. It was a real shocker to us wives to hear this after reading the chapter. 70% of the men that were interviewed for the book said they care about what their wife looks like, yet 100% of the men in the room completely disagreed.
So what did I learn from this? For one thing, I need to communicate with my husband the things I find to be romantic. Another thing, I never have to be embarrassed to look like a “hot mom mess” after spending the day chasing around a toddler and not worrying about what I look like because my husband doesn’t care. I obviously want to look nice for him, especially if we will be out in public, but it’s nice to know that I don’t have to look picture perfect for him all the time. The last thing, the one thing that I will take away from this whole study, is that I need to communicate with husband about what his personal needs and desires are. The book is a guide to understanding men, men in general. It’s a wonderful reference tool and a key to open the doors for communication but to really know my husband, I need to talk to him.
I hope these past three weeks have really opened your eyes into the life of your husband. I really hope that you have talked to him, to strengthen your marriage, but if you haven’t, I strongly encourage you to do so.
Have a wonderful day!
Photo Cred: Sean MacDonald Photography