“Are you pregnant yet?” “When are you guys going to start trying?” “When are you going to give your child a little brother or sister?” “When do you guys want to start having children?”
All these questions are meant innocently. Women LOVE talking about babies. I don’t blame them, I LOVE talking babies. But unless you know that person’s story, these questions can end up being really hurtful, unintentionally, but still hurtful.
There are women in this world who desperately want to get pregnant. Who desperately want to give their child a sibling. Who have been trying for months or years even and haven’t had any luck. Those questions can really cut a women down to the core.
For those of us who have been asked, and our stories haven’t been shared, we try to brush it off. We make up a story. Something like, we aren’t ready yet. Or we want to wait until we have been married for x amount of years or until we pay off a few large bills. But it’s all a story. You don’t know that, but we do. We put on a brave face, make up a story but inside, our heart is breaking because it’s just another reminder that we aren’t pregnant.
It’s hard to not want to talk about having babies with your friends or family. It’s hard not to be curious when they are going to have a baby. But we need to learn to be a little more careful. Unless you know someone’s story, your words can really cut deep. So I urge you, be careful when you ask these questions.
For us that are trying to get pregnant, who have had miscarriages, we tend to really get down on ourselves. We think, “I’m designed to carry a baby. I was created to do this. Why can’t I? Is something wrong with me?” We have hundreds of thoughts that go through our head and it can be embarrassing that we can’t get pregnant. For whatever reason. When people know your story, you can also feel more pressure. Well, everyone knows I’m trying to get pregnant but it’s not happening. What are they thinking about me?
So to other women out there, please be careful when talking to others. You don’t know their story and your words could have a devastating impact on someone’s life.