12 Tips for a Christ-Centered Marriage

12 Tips for a Christ-Centered Marriage

Do you know what the secret to a long and happy marriage? Christ. Plain and simple. If He isn’t the center of your marriage, your marriage won’t make it. That’s a harsh reality but it is reality. I want a long and flourishing marriage. I want to grow old with my husband. Make memories with him. Raise our children with him and show our children what a Christ-centered marriage looks like. I believe there are 12 things that you can do to achieve a Christ-Centered Marriage.

1. Pray with and for each other.  Prayer is so important for you marriage and for life in general. Take all your worries, your sorrows, your struggles, joys and praises to Him in prayer. Praying together doesn’t come easy to some people, I’m the first to admit that. But it is so important that the two of you go to God in prayer, together.

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

2. Communicate with love and respect. In every premarital counseling or topic on marriage, you hear the word communication. It gets emphasized so often because I don’t think couples realize how important communication is. But there is a specific way to communicate with your husband and it is with both love and respect.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. – Ephesians 4:29

3. Submit to your husband. Now, I’m not saying you’re your husband’s slave. You don’t need to go crazy with this word and neither should he. But it is important, it’s written in the Bible after all. What submitting to your husband means, that he is head of the house. He needs to lead the home and you need to follow. Now blindly, the two of you need to discuss important life decisions, but God appointed him as the head of the home, to take care of you and your children.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; – Ephesians 5:22-25

4. Be willing to give more than you get. Really, as wives and mothers, this should come without saying. We are here to take care of our husbands and children. In reality, they can’t survive without us.  But back to the main point, true love isn’t self-seeking. Don’t do things in hopes of getting something in return, or don’t wait to do things until your husband starts doing something. We are called to be Christ-like and that means doing things for others. How many people did Jesus help during His time on earth? Or how many people is He still helping today?

           If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?                     – Matthew 5:46

5. Cultivate Friendship. Think about the beginning of your relationship. How did it start? If it started like mine, it began with friendship. My husband and I were interested in one another back in the day of predating, but we hung out and got to know each other as friends before we decided to date. You want to be friends with your husband. You want to like spending time with them, going on adventures, talking with them, hanging out. Friendship is one of the greatest gifts and strongest relationships. Now, just think about how strong your marriage would be if you were also friends with your husband.

            If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?                        – Matthew 5:46

6. Don’t nag. We get told that we nag all the time. It’s a bad reputation and not everyone actually nags. But no one wants to be or should be a nagging wife. When you married your husband, you married a man, not a project. Don’t fix him or change him. You choose to love both sides of him. The good and the bad. He doesn’t see everything that needs to be done around the house, especially when he isn’t home all day like you are. Instead of getting mad and frustrated which ends in nagging your husband to do things. Try communicating with him (that was point number 2).

A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. – Proverbs 27:15

7. Show some respect. I wrote a post about 20 ways to show your husband respect. It is so crucial to show him respect. My husband has told me time and time again that one way he feels loved is through respect. We may not like everything our husband says or does but we need to acknowledge the things we do like. If he remembers to take out the trash, thank him and show him how much you appreciate that. If you’re around his friends, talk highly of him. It’s so easy to respect your husband if you actually try but it can be even easier to disrespect him if you don’t watch what you’re saying.

     However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.           – Ephesians 5:33

8.  Don’t talk bad about your husband. This goes along with show him respect. You are his “cheerleader” even if that sounds a little cheesy. You need to honor him and show him trust. If you are a person who likes to talk about, make sure what you say is out of love. Talk highly of your husband. You don’t want people to think negatively of your husband because he does some things that upset you. Watch who you talk to and what you say. Talking can do more bad than good.

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

9. Keep your sex life alive. When you live with someone for so long, you tend to get comfortable and lazy. Not totally a bad thing to get comfortable with your husband and to be lazy with him but you need to remember you’re not his roommate. Your husband needs and desires sex to fulfill him emotionally. He feels loved during that intimate time.

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

10. Divorce shouldn’t even be a thought. There are times when marriage is hard. It takes work and effort to keep it strong. You both to fill your marriage “bucket.” Speak each other’s love language. It is easier to say than do sometimes. When marriage gets hard, people think the easy solution would be to just get a divorce, to leave each other because who wants to fight? Well, some things are worth fighting for and your husband should be one of those things. You made a vow “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse…until death do us part.” Did you hear that key word? “Death,” not divorce. God wants your marriage to succeed and if you really love your husband, he is worth the fight. Work hard for your marriage and work together.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no man asunder. – Mark 10:9

11. Have fun together. Marriage isn’t meant to be boring and monotonous. Go out on dates, go have fun. Enjoy your marriage. Whether you are going to cook dinner together, challenge each other in an activity, playing board games or actually going out on a date, make things fun. Laugh, smile. Life is too short to enjoy your time with your husband and have fun.

Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. – Proverbs 5:18

12. Appreciate what you have. Count your blessings. Don’t look at what your neighbor has compared to what you have. Be thankful for what God has given you. Be thankful for your husband and all he does for you and your family. Let him know how much you appreciate him.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. – 1 Timothy 6:6-7

Photo Cred: Sean MacDonald Photography